Coming Soon | Sky Pirates | Terrian Chronicles | Stories of Faith

The Long Walk is a short Western story revolving around a two-bit thug and the prey he's been following for hours, an enigma known only as The Man in Black. As the story of the two characters' pasts unfolds, homage is paid to Western archetypes as diverse as High Noon, Unforgiven, and Jonah Hex.

Another casualty of the demise of MPH Comics, The Long Walk has been put on hiatus in search of an artist and/or publisher. The following is an early 4-page treatment of the story. I've since expanded it to a more moody and atmospheric 12 pages, but could easily change the length again. If you dig what you read below and know of an artist or publisher for it, drop me a line at webmaster@bucketoflizards.com.

Panel 1 

Aerial shot of a long, dusty road. No civilization is in sight. Two characters are in the shot: SLIM and THE MAN IN BLACK. The sun is rising and they both cast impossibly long shadows. 

THE MAN IN BLACK is on foot. He is well into his 50's, maybe older, but also big and able-looking. He wears the standard gunslinger attire: boots, leather pants, duster, and an old, worn-out, flat-topped cowboy hat. In his left hand is a handled bag made of leather -- similar to the type of bag a doctor would carry. He looks down and his hat tips forward as he walks. 

SLIM is on horseback a good distance behind THE MAN IN BLACK. 

CAPTION (SLIM): I'M NOT SURE EXACTLY HOW LONG I BEEN FOLLOWING THE MAN IN BLACK NOW. 

CAPTION: I KNOW IT WAS DARK WHEN I STARTED. 


Panel 2 

Pull back to a side shot of SLIM on his horse. He watches THE MAN IN BLACK in the distance. 

CAPTION: HE LOOKED LIKE EASY PICKIN'S THEN. JUST SOME OLD GEEZER WANDERING AROUND HERE IN THE DESERT. I FIGURED ANY MINUTE HE'D BE STOPPING TO CAMP FOR THE NIGHT. THEN I COULD SNEAK IN AND TAKE WHATEVER VALUABLES HE HAD WITH HIM. 

CAPTION: THAT WAS HOURS AGO. 

CAPTION: NOW THAT THE SUN'S COMING UP, I'M THINKING IT MIGHT NOT BE SUCH A GOOD IDEA. 


Panel 3 

Close in on THE MAN IN BLACK from a rear 3/4 over the left shoulder. We can make out the bottom half of his face. The top half is obscured by his hat. He has that day-old stubble that all rugged western men do. 

He is still walking, but his pose (other than his legs) has not changed. 


CAPTION: I MEAN, LOOK AT THE GUY...HE'S AN OX. AND HIS DETERMINATION -- HASN'T STOPPED TO REST, HASN'T HAD A DROP OF WATER -- 

CAPTION: I DON'T THINK HE'S EVEN SO MUCH AS MOVED A MUSCLE SINCE I STARTED FOLLOWING HIM, EXCEPT FOR HIS FEET. 

CAPTION: HIS PACE HASN'T SLOWED OR QUICKENED ONE LICK. HE JUST KEEPS PLODDING FORWARD. MILE AFTER MILE. HOUR AFTER HOUR. 

CAPTION: TRUDGING ON. WITH THAT BAG OF HIS. 


Panel 4 

The camera continues around and closes in on the bag from SLIM's POV. Leather straps criss-cross over it, keeping it's tightly-held contents in check. 


CAPTION: I GUESS THAT'S WHY I'M STILL FOLLOWING HIM. GUY LIKE THAT, WITH HIS KIND OF DETERMINATION? 

CAPTION: GOTTA BE SOMETHING MIGHTY FINE IN THAT BAG OF HIS. 

CAPTION: I RECON HE'S HEADED TOWARDS COOPERSTOWN. PROBABLY THINKS HE CAN GET SOME SLEEP AND SUPPLIES UP THERE. 


Panel 5 

Med shot of THE MAN IN BLACK. SLIM's POV. A town is visible in the distance. 

CAPTION: WHAT HE DON'T KNOW IS COOPERSTOWN'S A GHOST TOWN. COUPLE MONTHS BACK A HANDFUL OF TWO-BIT THUGS TOOK IT ON THEMSELVES TO RIDE INTO TOWN LIKE THEY WERE BILLY THE KID OR SOMETHIN'. THEY SHOT THE PLACE UP SOMETHIN' AWFUL. 

CAPTION: EVENTUALLY, A POSSE WAS FORMED AND TOOK THEM DOWN, BUT NOT BEFORE THEY KILLED EVERY LAWMAN WITHIN 20 MILES. THEY EVEN RAIDED THE MARSHALL'S RANCH AND RAPED HIS TWO TEENAGE DAUGHTERS. 

CAPTION: NOT MUCH OF ANYONE CARED TO STICK AROUND AFTER THAT. 


Panel 6 

Pull back to SLIM, beginning to close in on THE MAN IN BLACK. The town is getting closer. 

CAPTION: I FIGURE THIS OLD COOT AIN'T NEVER HEARD THE STORY OF COOPERSTOWN. THAT GIVES ME THE EDGE. 

CAPTION: THE LOOK OF HIM -- I'M SURE HE COULD LICK ME PRETTY GOOD IN A FAIR FIGHT. 

CAPTION: BUT HE'S BEEN WALKING ALL NIGHT. HE'S GOTTA BE FIXIN' TO COLLAPSE. 


Panel 7 

Over-the-shoulder shot of SLIM's POV as he closes. The town is still closer. 

CAPTION: MEANWHILE, I MIGHT NOT BE FRESH AS A DAISY, BUT RIDIN'S A WHOLE LOT EASIER THAN WALKIN'. 

CAPTION: I GOTTA TAKE THE ADVANTAGE OF SUPRISE WHILE I CAN GET IT. I'M SURE I DON'T HAVE IT NOW. LONG AS I BEEN FOLLOWIN' HIM, HE'S GOT TO KNOW I'M BACK HERE. 

CAPTION: IF HE DOES KNOW, THOUGH, HE SURE AIN'T LET ON. NEVER EVEN LOOKED BACK AT ME ONCE. 


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Page 2, 6 Panels 


Panel 1 

Rear 3/4 medium shot of THE MAN IN BLACK. He is at the edge of the town. We can begin to see that the town is dilapidated. So can he. For the first time in the story, his stance varies. He has stopped and is looking around...though his gaze still is tipped downward as he surveys the scene. 

CAPTION: WELL, WHADDYA KNOW? HE'S HUMAN AFTER ALL. 

CAPTION: IF I DIDN'T KNOW BETTER I'D EVEN SAY HE'S DEPRESSED. 


Panel 2 

Cut to SLIM on his horse. He has broken into a gallop. His distance to THE MAN IN BLACK is closing. 

CAPTION: NOW'S MY CHANCE. 


Panel 3 

SLIM brings his horse to a stop along side of THE MAN IN BLACK. THE MAN IN BLACK is moving again, back in the same stoic pose. 

SLIM: HOWDY, STRANGER. WHATCHA GOT IN THE BAG? 


Panel 4 

THE MAN IN BLACK walks past SLIM without so much as an acknowledgement of his existence. SLIM's reaction is one of annoyance and surprise. 


Panel 5 

SLIM positions his horse to block THE MAN IN BLACK's path. THE MAN IN BLACK stops and looks up slightly. 

SLIM: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU HEARD ME, FRIEND -- I SAID WHAT'S IN THE BAG? 


Panel 6 

Close-up on THE MAN IN BLACK's face. This is the first time we see him full face. His eyes are still in shadow, but the rest of his face is visible. He grins a mischievous little grin. A strip of skin connects his upper and lower lip on one side of his face. 


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Page 3, 7 Panels 


Panel 1 (inset in Panel 2) 

Close-up on THE MAN IN BLACK's right hand as he slaps the rump of SLIM's horse. 

SFX: SMACK! 


Panel 2 

SLIM's horse rears up and drops him off in front of the saloon. He breaks through the railing and lands badly on the hard wooden porch. 


Panel 3 

THE MAN IN BLACK continues along his way. 


Panel 4 

SLIM picks himself up and grabs a broken 2x4. 

SLIM: ALRIGHT, YOU %$#*! IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT IT, THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GOING TO GET IT!! 


Panel 5 

SLIM rushes over to THE MAN IN BLACK and brings the full force of his 2x4-powered blow to bear on THE MAN IN BLACK's left forearm. THE MAN IN BLACK drops the bag. 

SFX: KRACK!!! 


Panel 6 

SLIM runs away with the bag as quick as his spindly little legs will carry him, laughing all the way. As he runs, he unbuckles the leather straps on the bag. 

SFX: HAHAHAHAHAHA 
SLIM: NOW I'VE GOT IT, YOU %$#*. NOW I'VE GOT YOUR PRECIOUS -- 


Panel 7 

SLIM has opened the bag and stopped. We view him head-on as he stares into the open bag, awestruck and speechless at it's contents. 

The word balloon for THE MAN IN BLACK is located in the bottom right of the panel. 

THE MAN IN BLACK: HEY... 


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Page 4, 7 Panels 


Panel 1 

Dramatic angle on THE MAN IN BLACK. He has a gaunt 6-shooter with an impossibly-long barrel pointed directly at the reader. We see him full-faced for the first and only time. 

THE MAN IN BLACK: I BELIEVE YOU HAVE SOMETHING OF MINE -- 
THE MAN IN BLACK: -- FRIEND. 


Panel 2 

POV directly behind the bullet as it whizzes through the air towards SLIM. 

SFX: ZZZZZZZZZZZZ 


Panel 3 

Close-up on SLIM. The bullet wound is directly between his bulging eyes. Blood trickles down his face. 


Panel 4 

Pull back. THE MAN IN BLACK retrieves his bag from SLIM's cold, dead hands. 


Panel 5 

SLIM's POV. THE MAN IN BLACK walks through the town into the fully-risen sun, once again carrying his bag. It is the same stoic pose we have seen him in throughout the story. 


Panel 6 

The camera remains static. THE MAN IN BLACK continues his journey, now having passed through the small town. 


Panel 7 

The camera still remains static. THE MAN IN BLACK is just a speck on the horizon. 


The End